Now That I Saw You
by thejilyship
Summary: After maintaining a fake relationship for the duration of the season, it's time for James and Lily to call things off. It's what's best for both of them, it's what they agreed to at the beginning of the summer, but James not sure that he can let go...


_If you can believe it, this was not supposed to be this long. I don't think I've ever said that about anything I've written, so I can tell that you're all surprised. :/_

_But I was pleasantly surprised by this little fic. I didn't remember writing it, but I just went back to read it, and I kind of love it. I currently have very vague and far off plans for a part two. If it works out how I want it to, it'll be out sometime in December for a nice Christmasy feel. _

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James had been at least 73% annoyed and frustrated since Lily had declared that it was probably time that they ended this fake relationship that they had toted around all summer.

It had been good for the both of them, having a partner to attend events with, having someone who was equally as appealing to the gossip mags and high society bloggers. All they had to do was hold hands and laugh in a public space and their faces would get splashed all over the internet and page six.

But the season was over, and the only thing that could get them anymore publicity at this point, was to break up in public. A nice big fight, something vague that didn't spread the blame to unevenly on one person or the other. They were both going to have to walk away looking sympathetic, which wasn't always easy, but they had sat down and come up with a pretty solid plan. There would be no 'other person' there would be no backstabbing or need for revenge. It would be a nice clean break where they angrily fell out of love.

It was a good plan.

James had told Lily that he thought it was a good plan when they'd finished with it. But then she'd hugged him goodbye before getting into her town car and he felt like kicking the fire hydrant.

Sirius was annoyed with him for being so annoyed, Peter had taken to leaving the room whenever James came in and Remus had just avoided coming over at all these last few days. He might have had a valid reason, but James was 73% annoyed and frustrated and so he couldn't think of one. He just thought his friends were being arseholes.

The day that they were meant to break up was the last big party of the season, Labor Day weekend. And after that, everyone was going to fly back to their country homes where the new season would begin, with new people and new events and no Lily.

He wasn't completely thick, he knew that he was as annoyed and frustrated as he was, because he didn't want to say goodbye to Lily. She'd grown on him over the course of the summer, her and her endearing snorty laughter and argumentative nature and she always told the most ridiculous jokes that she laughed at just as much as anyone else did. She was kind and outspoken and full of life and he didn't want to pretend to break up with her, because he wanted to be dating her for _real_.

So he wasn't completely thick, because he knew all of that. But he was a little thick, because he hadn't done anything about it.

No, he hadn't done the only obvious thing that one _should _do in this situation.

He hadn't _told Lily._

And while the thought of telling her that he harbored actual feelings for her was utterly mortifying, he knew that he should for two reasons.

The first, being that he was going mad _not_ telling her. It was really draining to sit on these feelings while pretending to have fake romantic feelings for her in public and then pretending to have only friendly feelings toward her in private.

And the second reason being, because he had nothing to lose. If she didn't have feelings for him, then they would part ways same as if he had said nothing. Nothing harmed but his ego. And perhaps his own feelings, but being brave in the face of one's heart was necessary on occasion.

And Lily wasn't thick either. While she did seem completely oblivious to his feelings, she was not oblivious to the cooler side he'd taken with her, or his snappish remarks. He was no longer his cheerful self around her, and she was getting annoyed with him too.

"Look," She'd said when they were having lunch last week at her place. They were at her place instead of out and about because it was just as good for their story to have people see him coming and going from her apartment. He'd even spent a few nights on her couch so that he could be seen leaving her place early in the morning. She'd stay out in the living room with him, bowls of junk food passed between them as they watched trashy reality tv and laughed about how they were fooling the world.

"I don't know if I did something to offend you, but you don't need to treat me like this. If you want to act all annoyed in public, that's one thing, it'll make people speculate that we're about to end things, but no one else is here right now James," She motioned to her empty dining room. "It's just you and me. So cut it out, or leave."

He left.

The next time they had seen each other, Lily was as equally annoyed as he was, and they ended up arguing over where they should go to dinner in front of a well-hidden blogger. News of their bickering spread rapidly over the next couple of days, which only annoyed Lily more, even though she'd said that she would be alright with them getting caught bickering in public.

It became a game of escalation. He'd push her buttons and she'd rip out his circuit breaker. She'd rip the tablecloth off the table and he'd go for the rug under her feet.

And that's where they were when they arrived at the end of season Labor Day party. Spitting mad and itching to fight.

She looked absolutely stunning in her white sundress, but he would be loathed to tell her that now. Her hair was half up and she hadn't straightened it, so she looked like she belonged here on this beach. Perhaps at any moment she would transform into a mermaid and just jump into the sea.

But again, there would be no compliments from him tonight.

He walked along next to her, trying not to pout as she appeared to float. He tried to exchange pleasantries with the people who greeted him, and he tried to keep a smile on his face.

"Would you stop that," Lily elbowed him as she led them both over to the drink table. "You look like you've been kicked."

"Elbowed, not kicked," He said, rubbing the spot on his arm where her elbow had hit him.

"Honestly, James," She shook her head. "I don't know what's come over you, but you've been acting like a child for weeks now. Today is the last day, alright? After this you'll never have to see me again."

The way she said it made his blood boil. Like disappearing from his life was a fucking favor that he asked for. Like she didn't care one way or the other. Like this was what _he_ wanted.

If he was calmer, he would have realized that she had every reason to think that this was what he wanted, he _had _been acting like a child for a couple of weeks now. If he had just been honest with her from the beginning, then there would be no need for all of this arguing and fighting and frustration.

If he had been honest, he wouldn't have dug himself into the hole he was in now.

He stood up straighter and walked over to the bar, ordering a rum and coke, downing the entire thing without leaving the bar and then ordering a second, and a dry martini for Lily. He picked up both drinks and went off to find her.

She was seated on a white couch on the edge of the deck laughing at something Marlene McKinnon was saying. James forced himself to smile and took a seat next to Lily, "Darling," He said quietly, holding out the drink.

"Thank you, love," She said, and he could see the look in her eye letting him know that she thought she had won something. She thought that he was going to behave now because she had scolded him.

That didn't sit right with him either.

And perhaps that's when he decided that he wasn't going to break up with her today. No, if she wanted to end things with him, then he would make it as difficult for her as he could. She wouldn't be walking away looking very sympathetic.

The party carried on and James felt himself start to relax now that he had a plan that would throw Lily for a loop. Perhaps it wasn't fair of him, but the more rum and coke he drank, the more he thought it was entirely fair of him.

He asked her to dance when the music came on, he kept bringing her drinks and sweets, he kept reaching for her hand or putting an arm around her. And all the while, he could see her getting more and more confused. They were supposed to be building up to a breakup and James was acting more in love with her than he had at any point in the last two weeks.

"I'm glad you got rid of the bug that was living in your arse," She whispered as he leaned over to kiss her temple. "But you're laying it on a bit thick now, don't you think?"

He laughed as though she'd just said something teasing and cute and pulled back, "There's just no pleasing you, is there?"

"Don't be a dick, James," She said, her smile not slipping in the slightest.

He pressed his lips together and tossed back the rest of his drink. "Right, my sincerest apologies."

"You two are just too cute!" Dorcas Meadows walked up to them with Gwen and Hestia Jones on her heels. "Power couple of the season, right girls?"

"Oh yes," They both twittered, and James wanted to know if these girls knew that his and Lily's relationship was as fake as their smiles were. Was anyone actually in love in the Hamptons or was it all just for show?

"I can't believe her," Lily huffed, seeing right through Dorcas' fake compliments. "She's only mad because the charity ball that we hosted raised more money than hers did. She might have raised more if she had chosen a real charity though," Lily finished off her drink as well and then set down the glass.

"Right," James nodded. "Didn't she want to start a fund to make fur coats for hairless cats too? She's ridiculous, Lily. Same as nearly everyone else here."

Lily looked at him, holding back a laugh. He could tell because her eyes got wide for just a moment and her lips were pressed firmly together. She cleared her throat. "I forgot about the hairless cats." She said, slowly nodding her head. He felt like kicking himself. How had things gotten so bad between them? She didn't even feel like she could laugh in front of him anymore.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road before people start leaving," She said, pushing herself off the railing they were leaning on. "We'll go over near the band where more people will see us, but fewer people will be able to hear what we're saying."

"I don't think we should go near the band," James said, shaking his head. "We should probably go to the middle of the room. That's where-"

"No, people would be listening too closely if we were in the middle of the room." She cut him off as she looked around the room.

"We could just start arguing here." He said, but he was fairly sure that she wasn't listening to him. He reached over and took her hand. She turned to look at her. "We had a good summer, yeah? These last couple of weeks not withstanding?"

She narrowed her brows at him. "We were having a great summer until you decided to be an arse."

"I don't think I was the only one who decided to be an arse." She had kicked him out of her house instead of asking him what was wrong. Or at least, that's how he was choosing to remember it.

"Gee, thanks, James. I'm going to remember you so fondly." She squeezed his hand a bit harder than necessary and then started to lead him across the deck, toward the band. James had been planning for them to be in the middle of the room, but he supposed the band would do just as well.

He plastered a love drunk smile on his face and let her lead him through the crowd. When they reached the band, she rounded on him with a look on her face that was a perfect blend of angry and heart broken. James felt his breath get caught in his throat. He squeezed her hand and stepped closer, reaching up and cupping her face. "I've decided that I don't want to do this." He said quietly. "I don't care about the publicity or what people think, I don't want to do this."

She narrowed her brow and shook her head. "No, you promised. We've known all season that this is how this would end, James. I've no qualms about making you the bad guy here if you refuse to play along."

"Fine," He sighed. "You want to create a spectacle? You want to give them all something to talk about for the off season? Then that's what we'll do." He let go of her and took a step back, looking her over for a minute as he steeled himself for what he was about to do. He watched her clench her fists at her sides and he grinned at her before turning toward the band and stepping up onto the stage.

"James?" He heard her warning tone but ignored it.

"I'm so sorry," He said to the band as they petered off in their playing, giving him looks of confusion. "Do you mind if I borrow this for a moment?" He asked, pointing at the microphone. They looked at each other and then one of them shrugged and motioned for him to go ahead.

By the time he stepped up to the microphone, most of the room was already quiet. They had seen him step up, they had noticed the music stop, and now they were all looking at him expectantly, excitedly.

"Good evening everyone," He said, hearing his heart pounding in his ears. He was about 99% frustrated and annoyed now. And it was all Lily's fault. She had her plans and she wouldn't listen to him, so if he had to hijack things to get a word in, that that's what he would do. "I promise not to steal too much of your evening, but I have a few things that I'd like to say, and since you have all been with Lily and I throughout the summer, I wanted you all to be a part of this,"

There was a collective intake of breath as some of the party goers started to speculate about what he was going to say. James chanced a look at Lily, and while her arms were crossed over her chest, she had managed to wipe all emotion from her face entirely.

"Lily and I have grown up in your company, you've all been with us for so long. And this summer you got to see us fall in love. We'd always ran on the outside of the same circle before this summer, and so while I've always noticed how beautiful she was, it had been from afar. And then our good friend, Remus," He found Remus in the crowd, he was standing near the back of the deck with Peter and Sirius and nodded at him, looking entirely gob smacked. "Remus had the good sense to get the two of us in the same room and the rest is history." He looked at Lily again, his smile growing as he noticed her cheeks were staining red. Perhaps she still hadn't figured out where he was going, perhaps she thought he might have opted for an extra public break up.

He debated for just a moment if that's what he should do instead. But then he pressed on. "Finding Lily has been the greatest joy in my life thus far. Learning what will make her laugh and what will make her scoff, taking the time to memorize her favorite foods, drinks, candies, _shoes_," He paused to allow the room to laugh, which they did. "It's all been an adventure that I wouldn't trade for anything." Now he turned to Lily.

"My darling," He let his hand jump up to his hair now, it's where it wanted to be, and it made everything seem more authentic. "I don't want this summer to end. I know that we have only been dating for a few short months, but I have never been more certain about anything than I am about you." He had no idea where he was pulling all this bullshite from, but he kept on going. "From the first time we danced, I knew that I wanted to hold you in my arms for the rest of my life. From the first time we kissed, I knew that you were it for me. Will you join me up on stage for a moment?" He reached out a hand and was almost shocked to find that she looked to be on the verge of tears as she reached out to take his hand.

She stepped up onto the stage and kept her hand in his. "Lillian Jane Evans," He kept his eyes locked on hers while he made sure that his voice still projected throughout the venue. "Will you marry me?"

The resounding gasp of excitement throughout the room was almost enough to drown out Sirius' bewildered exclamation of quite the expletive.

Lily, pro that she was, waited until the crowd had gone quiet again before she answered. She started nodding, letting some of the tears spill over onto her cheeks. "Yes," She said, reaching up her free hand to wipe at the tears. "Yes, James, of course I will." And then she threw her arms around his neck.

James felt a bit dumbstruck now. She wasn't supposed to say 'yes.'

"You're going to regret this," Lily whispered in his ear. "I'm going to make damn well sure that you regret this." And then she pulled back, beaming at him and James felt the threat all the way in his bones.

What the bloody hell had he gotten himself into?

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Reviews chase away the blues


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